Six Christmases

My holiday memories are dominated by my six Christmases in Westord, Mass –my parents’ hometown. We only ended up there because of some twists of fate.

My father planned to retire from the Navy in the mid 1960’s and the intent was to move to Florida at that time. However, in one week my brother and mother were both hospitalized with critical illnesses, thus my father re-enlisted. Eventually he retired and we moved to Westford only because my uncle had a house to rent us.

In Westford, I lived within a few miles of my father’s family, and few dozen miles of my mother’s family. And there were snow-covered maples and evergreens, the way that sitcoms and holiday cartoons suggested that Christmas was meant to be.

Without those family hospitalizations my holiday memories would be of Christmas in a ranch house with a grassy ground and a palm tree in the front yard (a nightmare holiday scenario that was eventually realized when we moved to the Orlando area when I was a teenager).

Is it wrong that every holiday season, that I am grateful for my mother’s pulmonary embolism  and my brother’s ruptured appendix?

Posted in Invisible Fist, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 27 Comments

Job Creator

I never envisioned a future where I would live in a house where pots were never dirtied, but I was certain that I would one day achieve a “paperless” newspaper. I longed for that time, when I could reduce my clutter by just a bit.

I used to love the ritual of  spreading out the morning paper (The Gainesville Sun, The Tallahassee Democrat, The Washington Post, The Chicago Tribune) on my table next to my first cup of coffee and poring over the local and national headlines. When I lived in DC, then Chicago, there was the added bliss of being able to read the entire paper on the Metro, or CTA as I commuted into work.

In recent years the paper seemed to have  become more of burden due to its ability to contribute  clutter to my home. Perhaps that is a sign that I have reached curmudgeon-hood.

We moved to Grand Rapids 15 years ago. This city is  roughly the size of Gainesville or Tallahassee, but one the things that made it feel small to me was that the local paper was delivered in the afternoon rather than in the morning. Much like when I was growing up and lived in towns where “The Lowell Sun” was delivered by a “paper boy” at around 4 pm. It was usually a kid that went to school with my older sister, later they were kids that went to school with me. I always knew their names.

For a time in Grand Rapids we had an actual “paper boy.” A kid about 11  that actually biked from house to house for his deliveries. And we knew his name: Cortez. I liked that feeling of knowing the paper boy, if only for the nostalgic feeling.

Job Creator

Over the years, we’ve had a lot of different people–kids, adults, groups of people–delivering the daily copies of  The Grand Rapids Press. I am not sure if they are related to, or even acquainted with Cortez (who’s probably in his mid-20’s now), but they have always been reliable, and though we don’t see them all that often, they are always friendly.

A couple of years ago, The Press changed its model due to decline in subscriptions. It was announced that the home deliveries would be cut back to Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday.

An electronic edition would be available seven days a week. There was an option–with a slight discount– to forgo home delivery altogether. I was ecstatic at the idea of going paperless and the opportunity to reduce my  clutter. This seemed like a no-brainer.

Then I began think about the folks who deliver the Press. They were taking a big hit from the forced reduction from seven delivery days to three.

Despite my decades-long ambition to go paperless, and all the merits of digital content (scalable, searchable and NO CLUTTER) I chose to go  with the thrice-weekly deliveries on the possibility that I might help to preserve some jobs.

Now that the digital edition is available, I found that I rarely read the paper copy.  The hard copies get put other uses: cleaning windows, etc. but they aren’t actually read that often.

Recently, my wife and I have been making some efforts to reduce costs. A few weeks ago we cut our cable TV service and few other recurring bills. I looked at the option of cutting out the home delivery of the Press.

Last week I was seriously considering this when I happened to walk out to my car just as the Press delivery crew pulled up to my driveway. They were in a minivan with the side door open. There was a driver and two other people, one handing bundled newspaper copies  to an elderly man sitting in the back seat.

He pulled his arm back to toss it on my lawn and I yelled, “I’m open.”

This man, with a resemblance to Morgan Freeman, and a voice to match, called back “Oh, I’m going to have to get out the car for that.”  He did.  Then he struck a Joe Montana throwing pose and hurled the paper to me.  It was a pretty accurate throw, but I contorted my body to make it look like a difficult catch.

I shouted “Yes!” and performed a celebratory touchdown dance.

He hollered “Sweet catch, boss. The Lions had better pay you some good money this year. I’ll see you Thursday.” (Don’t tell me that you’ll get that kind of customer experience with your iPad.)

“Boss?” I thought. “No, I’m merely a job creator.” And in this case happy to pay for something that I don’t really need.

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Publishing | Tagged , | 26 Comments

Windy Smitty

As the weather warms up,  I can’t help but reflect on a decision I made in my past. At an age when I felt invincible. 

If nothing else, let my story serve as a reminder on the importance of bicycle safety. I have to live with my poor choice, it’s not too late for you to save yourselves.

It was a Chicago summer Saturday in 1994 that I decided to hop on my bike while my head was still sopping wet from the shower. The weather was gorgeous, and I couldn’t wait to get out the door.

I shot a fleeting glance at my bike helmet and chose to leave it on the bookcase. That was a decision that would alter my life forever.

I was heading to Jackson Park, about 9 miles to the south, when I stopped at the Lincoln Park Zoo to use the bathroom. I saw my reflection in the mirror, my hair was no longer wet, thanks to a wind-whipping along Lake Michigan. I drizzled some water on my mane hoping it would lie down a bit.

I walked my bike around the zoo, alternately looking at animals, and the Chicago skyline.

A group of workers inched up behind me in a golf cart. One said, ”Excuse me, sir can we get around you?”

I moved over to the right and they  had enough room to pass, and said, ”Thank you, sir have a great day.”

Before I could respond he added, ”Nice Michael Douglas hair, you got there.”

Then his workmate contributed, ”Man, you got yourself a Michael Douglas chin, too.”

A third man said, ”He sure does. He’s got the hair and the damn chin, too. How are those Streets of San Francisco treating you my friend?”

They chortled as I hopped on my bike. The second man spoke again: ”Say hi to Karl Malden.

”Michael Douglas Hair.” Twenty+years later, those words–th0se caustic words– still haunt me. How could anybody be so cruel?

Don’t let this happen to you:

Michael Douglas...Streets of San Franciso

Michael Douglas as Steve Keller (Source: Wikipedia)

Please wear a bike helmet.

For God’s sake, protect your hair!

Posted in Invisible Fist | Tagged , , , , | 14 Comments

Wishing You a Safe and Joyous Black Friday Eve

I have no plans to shop on Thanksgiving Day, or Friday, nor do I want anybody to work on Thanksgiving Day. However, I find that the outrage over some retailers’ decisions to be open on Thanksgiving Day more than a little contrived. People have always worked ”non-essential” jobs on Thanksgiving. They will again this year and next year.

It’s amusing that media and some consumers are taking umbrage with the fact that Target, Best Buy and others will be open next Thursday. Yet people have had no qualms about going to a grocery store, gas station, theater, McDonalds….or purchasing from Amazon, or iTunes on previous Thanksgivings.

Has anybody ever protested the fact that the Detroit Lions or Dallas Cowboys are forced to play football on Thanksgiving Day? Probably not, because their freakin’ rich. Though there are hundreds of concession workers, security officers, parking lot attendants, who are compensated far less handsomely than the players. They are compelled to be away from their families on Thanksgiving Day. Has anybody ever championed their cause?

I don’t suspect that there much outcry when I had to wash dishes, or stock the salad bar, at Skeeter’s Breakfast House. Management always predicted a rush of Thankgiving diners. There never was. There was usually about 20 customers each Thanksgiving that I worked, most of them were visiting professors from other countries and their families. The wait staff didn’t see much in the way in tips when they worked Thanksgiving, so they made just a shade over what we called “waitress minimum” which was $2/hour at the time. Where there protests?

I do feel sorry for the employees at these retail chains that have work on Thanksgiving. But not any sorrier for the wait staff, toll-takers, or flight attendants that will be working and have always worked on Thanksgiving.

I don’t fault the retailers who starting are Black Friday on Thursday for doing so. If these stores have good numbers they’ll repeat it next year, if the numbers are weak, they may or may not. I like to think if I were a decision maker in a retail chain that all stores would be closed.

Nothing is forcing the customers to visit these stores, during the holiday weekend, or in some cases to camp out in frigid conditions to be “first.” While shopping in general is unappealing, shopping amongst a ravenous crowd of deal-seekers suits neither my habit or my health.

If you shop on Thanksgiving, or the following day, that’s your choice, but you should pause for a moment to remember Walter Vance and Jdimytai Damour.

Perhaps the fourth Thursday in November that currently know as Thankgiving will one day be known as Black Friday Eve or perhaps Navy Blue Thursday.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | 42 Comments