(Warning double entendres ahead. If you are easily offended then avert thine eyes).
A week ago, my family returned to Grand Rapids after a brief vacation. When my wife said that she was heading out shopping, I immediately thought of my city’s national treasure: a sign at the front of a retail plaza showcasing its merchants.
There is nothing unusual about this assembly of stores, but the arrangement of their signs is particularly humorous. At least it is to 12-year-old me (and current me):
It is one of the things that makes Grand Rapids grand:
Target. Staples. Aldi. Dick’s.
The earliest incarnation of the sign arrangement in this retail plaza was:
Later, there was a grocery store chain that made a brief appearance (circa 2009) that couldn’t get a foothold in this market during the global financial crisis and closed.
But for a short time the sign said:
- Fresh Market
After Fresh Market vacated the space, Aldi moved in and took third position on the sign.
The only explanation I can think of for the persistent double-entendres in the sign arrangement is that the property manager is unapologetic smart-ass (and therefore will forever be my hero).