I Got Nothin’


As some of you know, I had been lying low for a spell.

I’ve been spending time  chauffeuring (until my ”client” reached his 16th birthday)  cooking, dog-walking, attempting to write, thinking about home repairs,  doing some occasional YouTubery, reading. and rebuilding.

As scant few of you know, this follows a phase of my life that is worthy of an “It’s Complicated” status.

It began with a  years-long, undiagnosed,  neurological malady with myriad symptoms: head and eye pain, heaviness and loss of coordination on one side of my body, confusion, fatigue, vertigo,  muscle pain and weakness, short-term memory issues, loss of sensation in my face…

At one time, or another, I was told  by a medical professionals,  I might have (or have had)  a stroke, (or brain tumor, epilepsy, hyperglycemia, hypoglycemia, CTE, hydrocephalus, cerebral hemorrhage, Lyme disease, encephalitis, multiple sclerosis…).

Seen and Not Heard

Some symptoms were constant, others appeared as though they were activated by a flipped switch.  One had a clear trigger.  When I spoke more than a few sentences, I soon felt as though I was fighting some external force (Lex Luthor?), for control of my lower jaw. 

People who  knew me from earlier in my life, might be surprised to learn that I often chose to go long periods without saying a word. Not even the last word (I know, hard to believe).

Almost every visit with specialists ended with “<sigh> “I wish we could do an MRI.”

I can’t have an MRI.  I eventually realized that I was on my own for this ride.

It Don’t Come Easy

After many fits and starts, some brute-force, ample tolerance by my family, an understanding client,  some luck, and a helluva lot of time (which forced me to be patient), eventually, my gait steadied, the pain, dizzy spells, etc. subsided. Some time later, I was able to wrest full control of my lower jaw away from Lex Luthor.

When I got through the distracting, sometimes debilitating symptoms, my confidence  depleted.  I was pain-free, and my stamina, short-term memory, and coordination* had returned, but I didn’t have much trust in them.

Many tasks, some that I’d been performing most of  my life, seemed incomprehensibly large and complicated, because it was hard to a visualize successful outcome.

That was another soul-sucking journey (perhaps worthy of its own post one day).

Once, in a moment of reflection following a setback, an old Ringo Starr hit popped into my head. I’ve shared it below, not because it became my mantra, or that I’m recommending that it become yours, but it is a kickass song.

Onward and Upward

Anyway, the diagnosis that I eventually arrived at is this:  I got nothin’.

I intend to keep it that way for as long as I can.

I am  pursuing projects with renewed vigor. Please check out my Services page or blog content and contact me if you’d like to talk about how I can help your organization with content strategy.

*OK, If you’ve seen my handwriting  or played hoops with me,  you know that my coordination has never been all that great to begin with 🙂

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